there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
