I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
