so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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