i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
