dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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