I accidentally burped into my bong.
We named our party play list daddy issues
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
