Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
