I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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