i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
