eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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