so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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