Porn is love you can see.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
