I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
