Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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