I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize