i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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