Who wears a wallet chain?!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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