you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
