The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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