Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
