he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
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Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
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the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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