Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
