As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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