I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
