she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
