i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
