A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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