The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
