Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
