Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
