that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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