she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
