you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize