he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
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I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
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Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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