his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
