Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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