it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
