some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
