I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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