I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
