drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
