I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I can't put those talents on a resume
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
