What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
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I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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