The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
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