You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm going to jail i love you
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
