Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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