I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
