I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
