I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
