Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
