Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
