I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
