the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
