Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
