I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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