i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm always down for nudity.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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