maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
