I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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