there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
