Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
