I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Boobs are out for the taking
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
