I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
