i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
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At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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